


Implications

by biancadelfellatio



Category: Free!
Genre: Everyone's gay, Homophobia, M/M, Makoharu isn't the main relationship but it's definitely there, Nagisa is really angsty, Pole Dancing, Stripping, gay bars, implied sourin, like really, nice soft recovery sex is coming later, reigisa - Freeform, that's the basis of this work
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-19
Updated: 2017-07-19
Packaged: 2018-12-04 08:18:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11551218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/biancadelfellatio/pseuds/biancadelfellatio
Summary: Nagisa's parents are traditional.Nagisa starts to show up to swim practice with bruises on his neck.Rin recommends Rei, Haru, and Makoto check out the show at Iwatobi's gay bar under the condition they not tell Nagisa they're coming.Nagisa struggles with accepting his sexuality and the ways it affects his home life, friendships, and sex.This started as my, "hey, Nagisa would actually be a pretty good stripper" brainchild, but segues into pretty heavy Reigisa.





	Implications

**Author's Note:**

> My biggest character flaw is starting a work and not finishing it. I know I do it. I say I'm not going to. And then I do it anyway. My goal was to get this whole piece chunked out and uploaded in one huge chapter, but I've been writing and editing this portion for so long that it's beginning to look disgusting to me and I had to just get it out there. However, I know exactly what the next chapter holds (it's sex and recovery, btw. And more of Makoto, since he's upset he's hardly in this story.) Please hold me accountable to finishing this.  
> All my links are below so you can pester me across any platform you like.  
> This was my first time trying a piece in third-person omniscient. I promise it gets better after like the first 3,000 words. I might go back and fix it up at some point, as I really got into the groove of writing it as I continued.  
> Anyway, please enjoy. My apologies for messing up honorifics or any other aspect of Japanese culture. I'm only 1/4 Japanese. It's excusable.

Although he wouldn't admit it to himself, Rei often admired Nagisa's aesthetically-pleasing body. Though short in stature, Rei thought Nagisa's muscles looked long and lean when he extended his arms during his breaststroke. Rei had almost memorized where most of the dips and kinks were on Nagisa's normally smooth skin, so when little bruises began to pop up over various muscles, coupled with a change in Nagisa's energy, Rei was extremely concerned.

The first was a large purple splotch covering his left wrist, extending almost all the way around his arm. By the time it began to yellow, Rei had noticed Nagisa's jugular notch wasn't just permanently shadowed, it was actually purple as well, along with two circular bruises on the sides of his neck. The next week, Rei spied a bruise underneath Nagisa's jaw and one on his ribcage. There were also lines around Nagisa's feet that Rei had thought were anklets for a while, but instead appeared to be a line of thin bruises around his ankles.

Every time Rei had confronted him about it, Nagisa had turned very red and assured Rei he was still his usual self.

"I'm just studying really hard, so I'm really busy, and I guess I just sit in weird positions, that's all," Nagisa said, scratching the back of his head and grinning embarrassedly. "I don't want my grades to drop because my parents would be upset." 

This would often be followed with Rei offering to help Nagisa study, but he was constantly turned down.

"I'm busy today! Sorry, Rei-chan!"

A couple weeks after Rei noticed Nagisa's change in demeanor, the blond ditched practice 20 minutes early because he "had a tummyache." Rei watched him go, trying to put aside the fact it looked like Nagisa was limping slightly, and swam to the side of the pool, pulling himself up onto the edge and taking off his goggles. Makoto came up and sat next to him, a slight frown on his face.

"Do you know what's bothering Nagisa?" Makoto asked, looking in the direction of the locker room.

"I would ask you the same question, Makoto-senpai," Rei sighed. "He's been less than his usual self lately, and every time I ask him about it, he makes up some excuse."

"Whatever's wrong, it's affecting his swimming as well," Makoto said, frowning. "I don't know if he's losing weight or what, but his times have been worse lately. He looks sore or something. Have you seen the way he walks?"

"Yes."

Haru climbed out of the pool, where he had been swimming laps, and walked over to the pair.

"Are we stopping practice early?"

"No, we were just discussing Nagisa," Makoto smiled at him. Haru looked at them, expressionless as usual.

"He's being secretive," Haru said. "It reminds me of when Rei learned to swim at Samezuka." The reminder made Rei blush.

"Whatever it is," Makoto said, "I'm starting to worry about him. We might need to follow him one day, like what we did with Rei."

"Wait, you did what!?" Rei exclaimed. "You followed me?! It was supposed to be a surprise!"

\---

They went to Haru's house after practice to plan their stakeout. Haru cooked them dinner as Rei and Makoto sat around the table, discussing.

"I don't want to betray his trust! If he sees us following him, it may further alienate him from us!" Rei said. 

"We'll just have to be stealthy," Makoto replied. "You followed Rin around without him noticing that time we-"

Makoto was interrupted by the sound of Haru's front door opening. Haru glanced up from cooking his mackerel for a moment, but, unworried, resumed his work. Makoto stood and began heading towards the genkan when the sound of heavy footsteps brought Rin into the dining room.

"Rin!" Makoto cried in surprise. "What are you doing in Iwatobi?"

"You're all here?" Rin said, looking a bit uncomfortable.

"Except Nagisa-kun," Rei chimed in.

"Exactly," Rin said. 

"Wait, what does that mean?" Makoto asked concernedly, all eyes in the room on Rin. Even Haru had stopped cooking and stood in the doorway, his apron still on.

"Uh… I don't really know where to begin, but…" Rin scratched his head, trying to find the right words while everyone watched him tensely.

A few silent seconds later, Haru interrupted with, "Are you hungry? You can stay for dinner."

"No, thanks, I've actually got someone outside waiting for me," Rin said, blushing slightly. "So, uh, I just came from Fukuramu-"

Everyone in the room turned very red, Rin included.

"Ehhh?? Why were you there, Rin-san??" Rei asked, forcefully grabbing the edge of the table.

"Shopping for furniture, what the hell do you think I was doing!?! Besides, it wasn't my choice to go there," Rin retorted, looking at the ceiling distastefully.

"There aren't gay bars near Samezuka?" Haru asked.

"I didn't come here to be chastised," Rin huffed. A low chuckle could be heard outside. 

"Look, I'm leaving," Rin said, flipping his hair back. "But go there. Now. Don't tell Nagisa you're coming." Rin turned and walked to the door, looking back to see the three boys staring at him, stunned.

"I'm not joking!" Rin said, looking almost exclusively at Rei. "You have to go." With a final sigh, he walked out of Haru's house, shutting the door rather loudly behind him.

"I don't know if we're old enough to get in…" Makoto trailed off, eyeing Haru and Rei with a deep blush on his face.

"It doesn't matter," said Rei, standing up abruptly. He put one hand on his glasses and the other on his hips. "If we're not old enough, then neither is Nagisa, but from the urgency in Rin-san's voice, I'm worried about him. We need to just go."

"I agree," Haru said, walking over to stand next to Rei. He looked at Makoto, who was obviously embarrassed by the whole prospect. Haru extended a hand to Makoto, who shook his head in resignation before taking it.

"Thank you, Makoto-senpai!" Rei chirped. "Let's go, please."

\---

Heading to Iwatobi's only gay club was scandalous for anyone, no less three high school boys. Sneakily, and without being seen by anyone they recognized, the trio managed to navigate the not-so-savory backstreets of Iwatobi to Fukuramu. The plain sign, a subtle contrast to the red lanterns outside of other bars, didn't indicate anything about the kind of clientele or events that happened inside.

Rei opened the metal door, a bit heavy and out of place for the small town, holding it open as Haru broke their way inside, stoic-faced as usual.

The room they encountered was extremely small. A dimly-lit, polished wooden bar was perpendicular to the door, causing the three to have to shuffle in sideways. There were maybe 15 seats at the bar, max, before what appeared to be walls on both ends. A couple men were at the counter, paying them a glance as they walked in.

"Hey, welcome to Fukuramu; try our Thai Me Up, Tie Me Down today, boys?" the bartender chirped, her back to them as she organized a couple of bottles behind the bar. She let out a small gasp as she turned around to see the high school students.

"Hey, I know you're not here to drink," she smiled at them, lines crinkling from around her brown eyes. She topped off the glass of one of her customers and came out from behind the bar.

"Ya know, you guys could probably pass for 20 if you didn't come here in your uniforms," she said, leaning on the wall next to Makoto, a grin on her face. "Especially you." Makoto chuckled nervously.

"I'm tall for my age," he managed to get out, the same shade of red he had been the whole night. Haru took a step closer to him, and the bartender raised an eyebrow, chuckling.

"I'm not gonna stop you from drinking if you want; I'm not that much of an ass. Have you guys been here before? I don't recognize ya."

"No, it's our first time," Rei admitted quietly. "It was… recommended by a friend."

"Ahhh, I see," the bartender grinned, tugging on her ponytail. "Did he recommend the booze or the show?"

"Show?" Makoto asked.

"No wonder you boys look so lost!" she laughed, putting a hand on Makoto's arm and guiding them all to the far end of the bar.

"Here, we can talk in this room; there's more space there anyway." Squeezing past them, she grabbed a door handle hidden by the bar countertop and pushed, the whole wall opening up into another room. The boys filed in and she closed the door behind them.

"See, it's bigger in here, huh?" she said, spreading her arms out to make a point. She was right; there were two game tables and piles of pillows and seating spread around the room. On one loveseat, two men were basically going through the steps of intercourse while fully-clothed. The baseline from some pop song vibrated lowly from a nearby room.

"You boys at least know this is a gay bar, right?" the bartender asked, leaning back on the wall and crossing her arms. Rei and Haru nodded at her, Makoto being still too embarrassed to properly respond.

"Good. You guys a thing?" she gestured at Haru and Rei.

"What?! No!" Rei quickly denied, turning the same color as Makoto. Haru frowned at her.

"Don't worry, I'm just kidding with ya -- we get straight guys in here all the time, too. Hey, it's not gay unless you say it is, right? Anyway, we see all sorts in here, but that bar at the front is kinda our cover, right? Through there is where the real action is." She pointed at a closed set of doors which seemed to be where the music was coming from.

"We got a stage back there, and some dancers, which is pretty much what everyone comes to see here, right? There's a bunch of couches for watching, but we actually have some great food here too and there's another bar back there for you to order my bomb-ass drinks. So go enjoy yourself and get some grub to watch the dancing. If you tip the strippers enough-" even Haru's face went red at this point, "they might even take you to one of the back rooms."

The bartender grinned at the three blushing boys, uncrossing her arms and putting a hand back on Makoto.

"Hey, don't be so dense!" she laughed, pushing his chest gently. Makoto laughed in an attempt to appease her but had never looked more uncomfortable.

"I'll let you guys forgo the entrance fee if you tell me your names. I'm Umi."

"Oh- My name is M-Makoto."

"See, was that so hard?" she smiled. "What about you two?"

"I'm Rei." After looking at Haru for a couple moments and determining he was going to stay silent, Rei continued, "And this is Haruka-senpai."

"Not much of a talker, are you?" Umi asked. Haru took his eyes off the hand Umi had on Makoto to stare at her. 

"We'll fix that with some sake, yeah? I swap with the other bartender in half an hour, so if I don't see you guys having fun by then, you'll be in trouble." She walked over to the double doors and opened them for the boys, gesturing inside. Loud music started pouring out of the connecting room.

"Have fun!" she yelled as she headed out the entrance.

Rei looked at his friends who were making no real progress. Makoto was staring at the two men on the loveseat, and Haru was staring at Makoto.

"Should we go inside?" Rei suggested. Makoto's eyebrows shot up, as if pulled out of some deep thought.

"Yeah. Lead the way, Rei."

Rei took a couple steps inside, surveying the room in awe before ducking as quickly as he could to a group of chairs in the back corner, the group sitting down rapidly in an attempt to be inconspicuous. The bartender had talked about dancing, but this was a strip club. He was in a gay strip club with Haru and Makoto. Rei shrunk a bit as he took in the scene.

To the right of where they had entered was indeed another bar, this one a bit more lively and loud than the bar at the entrance of the establishment. A man in what was basically a speedo was standing half-on the bar, dancing to the music, so… yeah, a bit more lively. Comfortable, large chairs littered the majority of the room. Men of various sizes and appearances were scattered among them, some with pillows over their laps. Fantastic.

There were chairs on three sides of the room, all boxing in the stage, the highlight of the bar. With two stripper poles and colorful lights rotating in all directions from the upper level, which appeared to be a loft of some sort, it was hard to miss. 

It was especially hard to miss the activities that were occurring on said stage. One boy, who was dressed in what appeared to be women's lingerie -- why? Rei wondered -- was working the pole, while two others in tight spandex and gogo boots were dancing on the main floor. Rei had to admit, the way these men were moving was… rather beautiful.

"Ahh, now what?" Makoto asked, turning to Haru and Rei. He looked concerned, in true Makoto fashion.

"Why'd Rin tell us to come here?" he lamented, glancing around nervously.

"Where's Nagisa?" Haru asked. 

"Do you think Rin saw him sitting in here when he was here?" Rei said. He sat up straight and peered out at the clientele, searching for the familiar blond tufts of hair.

"I don't see him," Makoto concluded, leaning back in his chair. "Maybe he left."

"Let's stay here a bit," Haru said, staring at the stage.

"Oh, Haru!" Makoto exclaimed. Haru's eyebrows shot up when he realized Makoto was looking at him in shock.

He was quick to retort, "The lady out front said something about back rooms! Maybe Nagisa will come out of there at some point."

Makoto nodded. "I'll text Rin, too. I really don't like it here."

The boys sat in silence for the next song, looking around the room nervously as the dancers performed to some American song about a peacock. At the end of the song, the dancers collected any money that had been thrown onto the stage, sticking their asses out as they bent down. A couple of the audience members stood up and tucked money into the boys' shorts, earning little kisses or winks. They waved as they went behind a black curtain to what Rei assumed was backstage. As they exited, a short man wearing a sparkling black suit jacket came out with a microphone.

"Wasn't that fantastic, gentlemen?" the man, who appeared to be an emcee of some sort, said. "That was Tyger and Leo! If you liked what you saw, they dance every night at 9:30, and if you feel like you want to give them a little extra love right now, they're taking requests in the private rooms to my right." What this man was saying coupled with the white glint of his grin under the stage lights made Rei feel slightly sick.

"I know some of you have been waiting for these next two dancers! These shotas have the bodies you wish you had twenty years ago! You already know Gold Desire, and he's joined by our littlest and newest dancer, Star!"

"What's with these names?" Haru grumbled, turning to Makoto. "How are you supposed to take someone's dancing seriously when they have a name like that? …Makoto?" 

Makoto was staring stiffly at the stage, paling more by the second. 

"It's… it's…" he stuttered. Rei's concern for Makoto was forgotten when he saw what the older boy was staring at. Alongside a taller, strawberry blond was a short dancer with a familiar mop of honey-blond hair. His heart fell into his stomach.

"It's Nagisa," Rei said, horrified.

The three boys watched, speechless, as their teammate, dressed only in tight pink spandex shorts and a bow tie, strutted around the stage and shook his hips. Nagisa walked over to the edge of the stage, smiling under the colored lights, and stuck his butt up in the air facing the audience. He leant down so his face was between his legs and grinned at some of the men close to him. One of the men got up and tucked some yen into the waistband of his booty shorts before smacking his ass, hard. Nagisa took it in stride, giggling as the force of the blow caused him to stumble forward a few steps. The exchange prompted Rei to stand, fuming.

Haru grabbed Rei's wrist quickly before he could do anything else.

"You can't call attention to us or to Nagisa," he said, though the usual calm undertone in his voice wasn't quite there.

"I have to do something!" Rei said a bit too loudly, causing a couple of the nearby patrons to look over to them. 

Haru glanced at the men with a grimace before continuing, "This is his job. We can't get him in trouble."

Rei opened his mouth to retort, but Makoto interrupted him as he shuddered, leaning down to put his head in his hands.

"Makoto?" Haru asked.

"Why didn't he tell us?" Makoto said, quietly. He looked up at Haru, who could see how distraught he was through his gaze. Tears pricked at the corners of Makoto's eyes. "I know he doesn't want to be up there right now. What happened to him…?"

Haru hated to see Makoto in such an upset state, though Makoto's compassion for Nagisa had caused Rei to sit back down again, watching his friend in concern.

"I feel so bad for chastising him on his swimming times! If I'd known-" Makoto cut off again, covering his face with his hands. Rei reached across the sitting area to put an arm on Makoto's shouder.

"It's all right, Makoto-senpai. None of us knew."

"But now we do," Haru added. "Now we can help him." Makoto looked up, offering as much of a smile as he could muster to his teammates. He took Rei's hand from his shoulder and squeezed it, taking Haru's hand with his other.

"Thank you both," he said. "I need to get it together. Nagisa's the one who needs our support, not me." Makoto dropped Rei's hand and Haru felt Makoto's grip loosen on his hand, but he refused to let go. He knew Makoto too well to think he was fine with this situation. Makoto had always been protective in nature, but especially so of his friends and family.

Haru remembered countless times when Makoto had protected both he and Nagisa from bullies. 

Although generally soft-spoken, Makoto became passionate whenever someone pointed out some flaw in Haru that Makoto refused to acknowledge, even if Haru's tormenter was right. In year six, a girl named Suki had pointed out Haru didn't have a date to their class dance festival because he wouldn't talk to girls.

"Are you too shy or somethin'?" She'd teased Haru during lunch. "It's okay, none of my friends would probably go with you even if you asked. You're as boring as a rock!" Makoto had gotten into a yelling match with her that had resulted in them both having to go to the guidance office the rest of the day to talk it out. Makoto had stayed home with Haru the night of the dance, even though Makoto had a date.

"I'd rather spend time with you, Haru-chan!" They'd played cards in his room and eaten popsicles. Makoto lost at cards a few times on purpose.

He was similarly protective of Nagisa -- though they didn't have class together, Haru remembered Nagisa crying a lot in Makoto's bedroom when the three of them were in grade school. Makoto could always say the right things to comfort him -- "You don't need to be tall to fit in, Nagisa!" "Yundori-kun just said that because he was jealous!" -- and the evenings had always ended with Nagisa back to his perky old self.

Although Nagisa was smiling on stage, Haru knew he wasn't happy, and he knew Makoto could see through Nagisa's facade just as easily. He tried to remain calm and level-headed, as usual, but Haru was kicking himself. He had known something was wrong with Nagisa -- anyone on the swim team could have seen his physical decline -- why hadn't he asked? The worst Haru had seen him was when Nagisa ran away from home, but he hadn't been showing up at Haru's house this time, so Haru had figured it was better not to ask than to get involved and end up in over his head. Bad. What a terrible friend he'd been.

Haru held Makoto's hand through Nagisa's whole set. He hated seeing his friend in such a filthy occupation, but he had to admit, Nagisa wasn't bad at this at all. Sometimes he danced in sync with the other boy; sometimes he did a couple moves around the pole, putting his back against it and sliding town or twirling with one leg hooked around it. He maintained a smile through all of his dances, until the last song, when the two dancing boys decided to come down into the audience.

It was a good plan for Nagisa, whose pants were starting to look pretty stuffed as several audience members shoved bills into them. It was not, however, a good plan for Rei, Haru, and Makoto, who grew more frantic as Nagisa made his way across the room, dancing nearer and nearer to them.

"What do we do, what do we do?? Shit," Rei panicked, scooting closer to Haru in an attempt to get as far back into the corner as possible. "He's going to see us!"

"Can we leave?" Makoto asked hurriedly, glancing towards the door. Sure enough, Nagisa had already made his way past the door and was heading smack into the left corner.

"Maybe he won't see us," Haru said quietly, in a small prayer.

Nagisa headed to the group of seats across from them, where one of the men ran his hands down Nagisa's sides. Nagisa winked and blew him a kiss before twirling away from them, directly into where his teammates were sitting. He froze, his joyful expression dropping instantaneously.

"N-Nagisa…" Rei started, hesitantly.

"What are you doing here?!" Nagisa hissed, looking more distraught than Haru thought he'd ever seen him. Nagisa had turned white, his eyebrows knit together, and he stumbled backwards like someone had punched him in the gut. His eyes welled with tears as he tore off before they could say anything, weaving through the chairs and darting backstage. The curtain shivered behind him for a couple moments before going still.

The trio sat, speechless, as the song ended and the other dancer made his way backstage as well. The bar patrons began to get up and leave -- the dancing was over. 

"Thank you so much, gentleman, for spending your night here again!" the emcee chimed in as his clientele began to exit. "Come back tomorrow for the best male dancers Iwatobi has to offer!" He turned off his microphone and started unbuttoning his jacket as Rei stood and started running towards the stage.

"Rei!" Makoto exclaimed, but Rei was already charging up the stairs to the stage. Makoto and Haru started trailing him quickly, before he did anything irrational.

Rei grabbed the emcee's lapels, catching him off guard.

"Where's Nagisa!?" he yelled in the man's face. The emcee put his hands up, chuckling nervously.

"Whoa there, my man, you're getting a little too physical! Are you looking for your friend? I don't know who you're talking about. You have to let go of me, or I won't let you see him at all tonight!" 

The bartender who let them in earlier rushed on stage and grabbed the emcee as Haru and Makoto reached Rei, pulling him off the man and holding his shoulders. The emcee frowned, observing them properly now that he wasn't being assaulted.

"Hey, are you guys students at the high school?" he asked, looking at their dress. He turned to Umi, his jovial expression replaced by a not-so-pleasant one. "Did you let them in?! You know better than that!!"

"Aww, c'mon boss, they're cute! They didn't look like they were gonna cause any trouble."

"This is a gay bar, you damned girl! Letting in people you shouldn't because they're "cute" doesn't even get you anything!"

"Hey, they could be bi," Umi protested, crossing her arms. "It's happened before." The emcee sighed exasperatedly and pushed his hair back, turning back to the boys.

"I'm Hashi Kosho. This is my club. What do you want?"

"Our friend is one of your dancers, Mr. Hashi," Makoto explained. "We need to talk to him. He shouldn't be dancing here. He's sixteen."

"I know who you're talking about," Kosho sighed. "We have a special agreement. A couple of the dancers live here, upstairs," he gestured to the loft where the lights were hung, "and he's one of them. He doesn't pay board if he dances every night."

"How long has he lived here?" Rei asked, now looking more sad than angry.

"Being our newest performer, he only joined us a couple weeks ago," Kosho responded. 

"He can live with me," Haru said. "He shouldn't be here."

Kosho sighed. "I'd be sorry to see him go, but I understand. Star brings in a lot of customers -- he's a good dancer, and the men like him. I knew he was still in high school, but I figured it was best not to ask questions -- if he wanted to dance here and didn't have anywhere else to go, he should be able to. But he has a lot ahead of him, and this isn't a field someone really looks to get into at such a young age. If he has somewhere else to go, I'm happy to let him out of his contract."

Haru nodded. "We can take care of him."

One of the dancers, who Haru recognized as Leo from when they walked in, trotted over to the group on stage. He had changed out of his scantily clad outfit and donned a pair of sweatpants. He had a bit of stubble, and he caught Haru's eye, as the dancer practically oozed sex.

"Hey, Hashi-san, everything okay up here?" 

"Thanks, Leo. Star has the bed next to yours upstairs, right?"

"Yeah, he does!" The dancer looked at the three boys. "Are you his friends? Which one of you is Rei-"

"Could you get him and his stuff and bring him down here?" Kosho interrupted.

The blond frowned. "Is he leaving? What's wrong?"

"He's not going to live here anymore," Kosho replied curtly. Leo didn't look particularly satisfied with the answer, but he nodded and headed backstage, behind the curtain. He returned shortly with an armful of belongings, but no Nagisa in tow.

"Here's his stuff," Leo said, dumping it off on Rei, who was closest, "but he says he doesn't want to go. He's hiding in one of the private rooms."

"Let me go talk to him," Rei said quickly. Kosho crossed his arms.

"I'm his boss," Kosho said. "I need to address some financial matters with him, anyway, and I think you boys have caused my club enough grief for today." He extended his hand, shaking hands with the swim team, before heading backstage, Leo close behind.

The three boys stood in silence, watching the curtain; the only movement in the facility was the bartender, Umi, wiping down the bar with a scowl on her face from their earlier encounter. Soon after, they could hear faint voices and sniffling coming from behind the curtain.

"-haven't eaten anything today? Why didn't… say something?"

"…Didn't… don't need anything."

"You know I would've…! Here, take-"

"I earned enough… I don't…"

"Listen, if I don't see you again… always have my number."

"…Thank you, L-Leo-chan."

A painted hand pulled back the curtain, and Nagisa was guided out, Leo's other hand around his shoulders. Nagisa was staring at the floor, refusing to even acknowledge the presence of his team members.

"If any of you are mean to Star-kun, I'm going to hear about it," Leo said, looking at the boys threateningly. He spared a special glance at Rei, narrowing his eyes.

"Are you okay, now?" he asked Nagisa, bending down a bit to rival his shorter height. Nagisa nodded.

"Take care, darling," Leo said, giving Nagisa a peck on the top of his head. He took a step back, crossing his arms and watching the four.

"Let's go to my house," Haru said, turning to leave the bar. "You can stay with me, Nagisa." He started walking out, assuming the other three boys would follow, which they certainly did.

\---

Nagisa refused to speak during the whole walk to Haru's house, which was a good quarter of an hour away. Haru opened the door and they all filed in; immediately after, Makoto wrapped Nagisa in a huge bear hug.

"Nagisa!! I'm so, so sorry! You should've told us! We care about you so much!" Nagisa stiffened in Makoto's arms, not making any move to reciprocate his warm gesture. Makoto pulled back after a moment, confusion gracing his features.

"Why are you sorry? I was fine there," Nagisa grumbled. His words sounded odd, so far removed from their usual joviality and tone. Makoto took a step back, speechless.

"I'm going to make us tea," Haru said, padding into the kitchen.

"I'll put your stuff down!" Rei chirped, suddenly remembering his job. "Haruka-senpai, in which room will you be housing Nagisa?"

"Put it in the room off of the dining room," Haru called from the kitchen. Rei trotted off to finish his task, while Makoto took Nagisa's arm gently, trying to be reassuring.

"Let's go sit down, Nagisa," he said softly, smiling gently at the shorter boy. Though he didn't reply, Nagisa allowed himself to be guided into the next room, sitting down on one of the cushions next to Haru's table. Makoto sat across from him, and the pair were soon joined by Rei and Haru, who brought them all tea.

"So," Makoto said after a while, cracking open the silence around Nagisa's circumstance that no one really wanted to break. Nagisa sighed heavily.

"I know you all want to talk about this, no matter how unpleasant it is for me," Nagisa said defeatedly, glancing up at the other boys for the first time since he was reunited with them. "So, just… tell me what you want to know."

"...Why were you working in a strip club?" Rei asked quietly.

"I didn't want to work there, originally. I first had a job at the grocer's, but too many people I knew shopped there, and they asked too many questions. I had to work somewhere that no one would find me."

"Nagisa, why did you even need a job?" Makoto asked.

"I needed money to pay rent. My parents…" Nagisa trailed off.

"Did you run away again?" Rei asked. "After last time, you know we would've supported you and helped you figure out why they were upset and how you could-"

"I didn't run away," Nagisa interrupted. "They kicked me out." He stared at the cup of tea in front of him, his expression reminding Makoto of Haru's -- blank and unreadable.

"What?" Rei asked, incredulous.

"Yeah, they kicked me out. They found out I- I… hnnng, I don't want to talk about this anymore!" Nagisa yelled, his face contorting and tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Nagisa-kun…" Rei said, moving over to Nagisa, his arm outstretched.

"No!" Nagisa shouted, pushing Rei's arms away. He stood up abruptly and ran to the next room, shutting the sliding door loudly behind him. Rei sat facing where Nagisa was a moment ago, stunned.

"I guess we should let him be for a while," sighed Makoto, his hands cupping his tea for warmth. 

"I'll make sure he's all right tonight," Haru said. "You should both go home and get some sleep. We still have swim practice tomorrow."

"Haru! Shouldn't we stay here in case he needs something or wants to talk?"

Haru shrugged at Makoto. "It's late."

"But still," Makoto said, frowning slightly. Haru stood up, walking into his kitchen and donning his apron.

"I'm going to make him food. I'll try talking to him again later, once I'm done. You really should get back. I'm sure Ren and Ran are worried about you. And Rei-" Haru turned around to look at Rei, who stiffened, having been worriedly staring at the door where Nagisa had disappeared.

"Haruka-senpai!"

"I know you're worried about him, but you should get some rest, too. You know I'll message you if something happens, and you're the only one who has class with him, so you need to be rested to take care of him tomorrow if he needs you."

Rei hesitated, but dropped his gaze to his cup of tea, humming quietly in agreement.

"You're right, Haruka-senpai." He stood, Makoto following suit.

"We can always count on Haru to stay level-headed," Makoto smiled, putting a hand on Rei's shoulder. "Let's go, Rei. Haru's right, Nagisa will be fine here and might be more willing to open up tomorrow."

The two boys walked to the door, shutting it quietly behind them, leaving only Haru and a hidden Nagisa in the Nanase household. Haru reached for the tongs for his small grill, but stopped before he grabbed them. He could hear Makoto in his head, chastising, "Don't grill him mackerel, Haru!"

Haru huffed and crossed his arms, unsure of what in his kitchen would suit an upset Nagisa. He finally decided on a package of chocolate biscuits that had been sitting in the back of his cupboard. They were likely given to him by Makoto a while ago. Examining them to make sure they weren't expired, Haru removed his apron and opened the door off of his dining room.

He was met with the sight of a pile of laundry. No it wasn't laundry -- Nagisa must have found a blanket, and he was curled up underneath it in a tight ball. Haru walked over to him and sat down on his knees, unable to locate Nagisa's head. He frowned. 

Haru was fairly sure he knew why Nagisa's parents had kicked him out and what caused him to be so upset, so in true Haruka fashion, he decided to get right to the point.

"You're gay, aren't you." The mass under the blanket jolted slightly, and Haru could hear the small boy suck in a breath.

"Your parents found out and that's why they kicked you out," Haru continued. "Am I right?"

Haru thought maybe Nagisa wouldn't reply, as he didn't move for several moments, but as Haru debated leaving the biscuits and heading out, the blond sat up slowly. He stared at Haru for a couple moments, his eyes red from crying. He then practically slammed his head into the ground in a deep bow that left his head inches from Haru's knees.

"I'm sorry, Haru-chan!" Nagisa wailed. He was still crying, and Haru could hear his breath hitch every couple words. "Please- please don't kick me out! I don't wanna stay at the club- I p-promise I don't like you- I've never looked at you like that, or… or anyone else on the swim team; I promise I'm not a pervert! Please don't tell Mako-chan or R-Rei-chan, I don't want to get- get kicked off the swim team-"

Haru put both of his hands on Nagisa's shoulders in an attempt to get him to stop bowing.

"Nagisa! It's fine, I am too." Nagisa stopped sobbing, looking up at Haru with tear-filled eyes.

"…What?"

"I'm not going to kick you out. I have no room to judge. You won't be kicked off the swim team either. Do you think any of us would do that to you?"

"N-no," Nagisa sniffled, sitting up and wiping away his tears. He held the blanket around his shoulders, looking at the floor before meeting Haru's gaze. 

"Is it that obvious that I'm gay? Do you think the others know? …Do you guys talk about it?"

"Nagisa, no one thinks you're gay. Even if Makoto and Rei did know, they wouldn't be likely to judge you for it."

"Then how did you know?"

It was Haru's turn to look at the floor. "I had an argument with my parents once about sexuality. They're pretty traditional. They made a rule in junior high that whenever I had sleepovers with Makoto I wasn't allowed to sleep in the same bed as him because they thought it was going to 'turn me gay,'" Haru said with a frown. "It was stupid. But I don't have to worry about it anymore, since they're gone."

Nagisa watched Haru for a moment, deep in thought. He then cocked his head to the side and asked, "Do you like Mako-chan?" Haru fixed him an indignant look.

"There's nothing to make you think that," he said disdainfully, scooting the neglected package of biscuits over to Nagisa. "Here, I brought you this in case you're hungry." Nagisa grabbed it quickly.

"I haven't eaten the entire day!" He opened the end of the plastic tube and popped a biscuit into his mouth. "Thank you, Haru-chan." Haru nodded, watching Nagisa devour almost the entire pack. They sat in silence for a while, listening to Nagisa chew, until the boy slowed his eating and sighed.

"Please don't tell anyone," Nagisa said quietly. "I know Mako-chan and Rei-chan probably wouldn't care, but I don't want to risk it. Especially Rei-chan. I don't know how he'd react, and I don't want him to stop being friends with me." Nagisa's voice trembled at the end of the sentence in a very un-Nagisa-like way. Haru looked at him as sympathetically as he could.

"Rei is really worried about you," he said. "I doubt he would end your friendship over something like this." Nagisa nodded, giving a small smile. Seeing a fragment of Nagisa's old self return prompted Haru to stand up.

"You can stay in this room, if you want. I'll go get the mattress Makoto uses when he stays over- oh!" The wind was knocked out of Haru as Nagisa jumped up and wrapped him in a big hug.

"Thank you, Haru-chan!" he exclaimed, his words muffled in Haru's chest.

Although taken aback by the affection, Haru returned his friend's hug, albeit lightly, before heading upstairs to get the mattress.

\---

In true motherly fashion, Makoto was over at Haru's early in the morning to make sure everything had gone smoothly during the night. As the trio walked to school, Nagisa looking more chipper than he had the previous night, the boys found a sweaty-looking Rei jogging to meet them from the direction of the school.

"Haruka-senpai, Makoto-senpai, Nagisa-kun! I took the earlier train so I could meet you on the way to school." Rei saved a smile for Nagisa. "It wasn't as fun riding the train by myself, Nagisa-kun."

Nagisa blushed and looked at the ground. Rei stiffened at the lack of response but fell into stride next to Makoto as the swim team walked to school together. Haru and Makoto peeled off from the two younger boys as they headed to their classroom, and Rei tried again not to make the silence too awkward between himself and Nagisa.

"Nagisa-kun, are you excited for art today?"

"I guess," Nagisa replied rather dejectedly.

"Sensei said we would be moving on to landscapes today, which I think is far more beautiful than abstract art!" Rei proclaimed, puffing out his chest. "I already know what I want to paint; what about you?" Nagisa took his seat in their classroom, glancing up at Rei, who had seated himself on the edge of Nagisa's desk, a forced grin plastered on his face. Nagisa sighed and looked away.

"You're being weird," he stated. Rei deflated a bit at his words. "Can we just pretend like what happened yesterday didn't happen? I was acting fine the past few weeks before you guys came to the bar. No one even noticed anything was wrong with me."

"I did notice something was wrong, Nagisa-kun!" Rei said, sliding off Nagisa's desk and standing next to him. Nagisa let out a small gasp, staring up at him.

"You did?"

"Aside from the various bruises that were visible during swim practice, your personality changed," Rei said, adjusting his glasses. "You became more-"

"I still want to be your friend!" Nagisa interrupted quickly, cringing at himself. He crossed his arms, pouting a bit. "That's why I want to pretend like yesterday didn't happen. Can we just go back to normal?"

Rei frowned, confused. Why would Nagisa think Rei would no longer want to be his friend? He adored the younger boy. Rei nodded.

"I'll always be your friend, Nagisa-kun." Nagisa nodded back at him and gave Rei the first genuine smile he'd seen in a while.

"Good. Then, Rei-chan, I know what I want to paint today," Nagisa said, his eyes sparkling for a moment. "I think a good landscape would be the sakura trees next to the pool…"

\---

Makoto was happy to see Nagisa acting like his usual self at swim practice. He was roughhousing with Rei in the locker room again, trying on Rei's prescription goggles and remarking how bad his vision was. Though his swimming times weren't where they could be, the authentic smiles he gave Gou when asking for his time after a lap left Makoto very relieved.

As practice came to an end for the day and the boys started heading back to dry off and change, Makoto caught Rei's arm at the showers.

"I don't know how you did it, Rei, but Nagisa seems a lot better than he did this morning," Makoto said with a smile. 

"I really can't take credit, Makoto-senpai," Rei replied, looking to the door of the locker room where Nagisa and Haru had disappeared. "Nagisa-kun just said he wanted things to go back to the way they did before." The two taller boys headed to the locker room as well.

"Either way, you guys make a good pair," Makoto said. Rei blushed a bit and cast his gaze downward, only to be hit in the shoulder by the locker room door. A Nagisa with all his stuff over his shoulder was heading out hurriedly.

"Oh, sorry, Rei-chan!" he chirped. He started to squeeze past Rei towards the pool exit.

"You changed so quickly-" Rei started.

"Nagisa, where are you going?" asked Haru, who, in the middle of changing out of his swimsuit, jogged out of the locker room with just a towel around his waist. "Aren't we going home?"

Nagisa's upbeat demeanor he'd held for most of the afternoon deflated a bit.

"I have to go to work."

"But you're staying with me," Haru reminded. "You don't need money for rent."

"I still need to help pay for stuff, Haru-chan," Nagisa mumbled, looking embarrassed. "Like, meals, and books…"

"You didn't have to pay for that when you were living with your parents, and you don't have to if you're living with me, either," said Haru, extending a hand towards Nagisa. "Your hair is still wet. Come back inside and dry off properly, and then we'll go home."

"Haru-chan." Nagisa began to tear up and wiped the corners of his eyes. He stepped forward as if to take Haru's hand but wrapped him in a hug instead. The jolt caused Haru's towel to start slipping down, but it was quickly caught and hoisted back up by Makoto.

"This is really sweet, but are we ignoring the fact that Haru is not wearing any pants?! Anyone could walk by!! Gou could come back!! Gosh, this is really scandalous, you guys!!" Makoto's face was red, and he was looking around frantically. "Take this inside, for God's sakes!"

As Nagisa peeled off Haru and Makoto relinquished control of the towel back to Haru, the four boys headed inside. After clearing his throat, the small room was filled with Nagisa's chatter about the interesting things he did in school today and how Rei-chan was such a great artist and he should pursue it professionally if the "sciencey-stuff" he wanted to do didn't work out. 

\---

The days started to become very routine for Nagisa. Normally, he wouldn't like that very much, as routine often equaled unexciting, but he was spending so much time with his friends lately that his extraverted personality seemed to thrive.

Removed from the regularly negative energies of his parents, Nagisa found himself boisterously helping around Haru-chan's house in the mornings. Nagisa made sure to help with the cooking and cleaning, as the last thing he wanted was for Haru to think Nagisa was taking advantage of his living situation, but there was only so much tidying Nagisa could do before he got bored and Haru got stressed because he couldn't find anything.

Nagisa liked living with Haru. He was smart -- not as smart as Rei-chan, but Haru was smart in different ways, and could sometimes help Nagisa with his work when Rei wasn't around. He also let Nagisa do whatever he liked for fun around his house. Nagisa suspected that sometimes Haru just conceded because he didn't have enough energy to protest what Nagisa wanted to do, but it sometimes meant bags under their eyes from staying up late watching horror films.

("You're both being ridiculous!" Makoto would scold. "You're exhausted during the day because you stay up late watching movies, and you don't even pick good ones!"

"You just say that because you're scared of them," Nagisa would tease, and Haru would always give Makoto a look that made the taller boy blush.)

Nagisa's days were just as good as his nights, he thought. He was spending most of his waking hours with Rei, in class or studying with him at his house or at the library or Nagisa's favorite cafe with the delicious strawberry pastries.

Something had changed in Rei's eyes since he saw Nagisa in the bar, and it hurt Nagisa whenever he thought about it. Though it wasn't a big or notable change, he saw it every time Rei looked at him, and he wasn't sure what it meant, which made him nervous. Oftentimes, though, Rei's glasses would glint in such a way that Nagisa couldn't see it, and he could pretend like everything was like the way it was before. Before the bar, when Nagisa was confident no one suspected anything about his sexuality. Before the bar, when Nagisa didn't have to think twice before touching Rei lest the smarter boy interpret it as something gross and gay, like him.

"Nagisa-kun? If you don't focus and finish your problem set I will continue to withhold the pastry, and I know you want to eat it, so you should get to work."

Nagisa was pulled out of his thoughts with a minuscule gasp, and he realized he had been staring at the top of Rei's head, his eyes out of focus on the navy hair. They were sitting across from each other at Kohitaimu cafe, Nagisa's schoolwork spread out all across the table. On Rei's side of the table sat a neat stack of textbooks and notebooks, on top of which sat a beautiful, strawberry jam-filled pastry of which Rei had promised to treat him. Nagisa slumped over on his work, frowning at Rei.

"How do you even know I'm not working, Rei-chan?? You've got your head in a book."

"I heard you put your pencil down over five minutes ago." Rei looked at Nagisa over the rim of his glasses. "I've already finished all my work, so I'm not the one who's going to get in trouble with sensei for not doing what he assigned." Nagisa laid the side of his head down on his math homework and sighed, his cheek squishing his face into a pout.

"It's too hard. And I'm hungry."

"Derivatives aren't hard! We already learned the formulas in class, so all you need to do is apply them. I told you I'd help you when you get stuck, Nagisa-kun."

"I'm hungry." Rei put his book down to gaze at Nagisa.

"You just want the pastry," he said. "You know it's a reward for finishing your work."

"Maybe I'd work better if the pastry was already in my tummy," Nagisa countered, straightening up mischievously. Rei crossed his arms.

"You can't go back on an agreement once it's already decided," Rei said.

"Pleeeease, Rei-chan?" Nagisa asked, cocking his head to one side. "Just a little piece, and then I'll do my next problem." Rei broke off a piece of the pastry, looking at it contemplatively.

"Read me the problem you're stuck on." Nagisa sighed, slumping down from the attentive position he'd been in.

"Five x minus eight is in parentheses, and it's raised to the fourth power." Nagisa looked at the problem for a moment, then let out a dramatic sigh.

"This is hard!"

Rei responded, "If you can tell me what rule you need to apply, you can have this." Nagisa frowned, biting his bottom lip in thought.

"Um… product rule?"

"Wrong."

"Chain rule!"

"You're just guessing."

"Am not, Rei-chan!"

"How do you know it's the chain rule, then?"

"Because the exponent!" Nagisa cocked his head to the side again, grinning. "I'm right, aren't I, Rei-chan?!"

Rei's stoic expression broke as he smiled softly.

"That's right, Nagisa-kun. So how do you solve using the chain rule?" Nagisa grabbed his pencil, writing as he dictated.

"I bring the four down front… copy what's inside… and subtract one from the exponent, so it's three now."

"You're smarter than you think you are," exclaimed Rei, smiling at the smaller boy.

"I did it! So now-" Nagisa cut himself off by half-standing on his chair, propping his elbows up on his work and leaning across the table towards Rei. He opened his mouth and stuck out his tongue. Rei blinked at him, a blush creeping up on his ears.

"You want me to… feed you?"

"I did good work, didn't I? Besides, Rei-chan, you're already holding the pastry," Nagisa giggled. Rei gingerly placed the sweet bread in Nagisa's mouth, very careful not to touch him. Nagisa chewed happily, returning his butt to its seat.

"It's so good!" Nagisa beamed, smiling so widely that his eyes squeezed shut. "See, Rei-chan, your motivational plan worked!"

Rei rationed the strawberry pastry as Nagisa slowly but surely made his way through his problem set, obscenely stretching himself across the table each time he finished a problem. Rei saved the part he knew Nagisa liked the most, the small fondant strawberry that decorated the top, for the last problem, which he recalled was the most difficult.

"Who even puts 'x'es on the top and bottom of a fraction?!?" Nagisa exclaimed frustratedly, after a good ten minutes of working on the final equation. "This isn't possible! It's a trick question!"

"You don't want a fraction, right?" Rei asked.

"No! Of course not!" Nagisa scowled.

"How do you get rid of the denominator, then?"

"I don't know," Nagisa huffed.

"Stop and think for a moment," Rei said calmly. "Pretend the problem is something simpler, like two over x. How would you get the x out of the denominator?"

"You multiply it by the numerator!" Nagisa said, his eyes shining with his mental breakthrough. He quickly dove back down into his notebook, scribbling down some numbers and then shoving it at Rei.

"Is this right…?" 

Rei nodded.

Nagisa let out a relieved laugh and hopped back up on the table for his final treat. Perhaps a bit too excited by the prospect of being done with math for the day, Nagisa closed his mouth too quickly on Rei's hand, sucking on his pointer finger and thumb as he grabbed the fondant strawberry with his tongue. Nagisa immediately sat down, his eyes wide and cheeks indecently pink.

"Sorry, R-Rei-chan…" Rei sat, staring at Nagisa, his hand frozen in place. Nagisa saw the wet sheen on his fingers and blushed even further. He begun to get nervous as Rei's gaze didn't falter.

"Rei-"

"That was it, right? The end of your problem set?"

"Yes…"

"Well, then, I suppose we're done for the night." Rei stood quickly, shoveling his books into the large pocket of his backpack in one quick swipe. "I'm going to head home, and you should head to Haruka-senpai's."

"Yeah, I guess so. It's getting late anyways," Nagisa said, averting his eyes from Rei as he packed away all his work. He took significantly longer than Rei to pack away, but when he zipped up his backpack and looked up to walk out with Rei, he found the taller boy already gone.

"Rei-chan?" he asked, looking around the cafe in all directions. He left??? Astounded, Nagisa walked out of the cafe, just in time to see Rei disappear around the corner leading to his house.

"Rei-chan…" Nagisa murmured, frowning to himself as he headed off in the other direction to Haru's house. His face was still shining red with embarrassment. He blushed the whole way home as it got dark outside, letting himself into Haru's unlocked house. He walked quickly into his room, only to startle Haru and Makoto sitting on the porch.

"Oh, Nagisa!" Makoto clutched his chest as he jumped about two feet back from where he was sitting next to Haru. "You're done studying already?" Nagisa nodded, dropping his bag on the floor as he continued to try to get his flushed face back to normal.

"What are you doing?" Nagisa asked.

Makoto opened his mouth to reply but Haru cut him off with, "Stargazing." Haru laid down, staring up at the sky, while Makoto moved in the opposite direction, standing and scratching his head.

"I'll be off, then, since Haru has you to keep him company now, Nagisa," Makoto said, smiling at the smaller boy. Nagisa noticed Makoto's cheeks were pink as well, and normally he would call Makoto out on it, but he found he had no room to talk today.

"Are you gonna walk us to school again tomorrow, Mako-chan?" Nagisa asked.

Makoto nodded. "I'll see you then! Sleep well, Nagisa, Haru-chan." With another kind smile, Makoto let himself out of Haru's house.

"Good night, Mako-chan!" Nagisa chirped after him. He looked over at Haru, who was staring at the door where Makoto exited, but shifted his gaze back to the stars when Nagisa looked at him.

Nagisa scooted over next to Haru on his knees and looked up at the sky as well. The image of Rei's stunned face as he sat with his hand outstretched in front of him continueed to circulate through his mind, no matter how hard Nagisa tried to quell the thought. He wished Rei hadn't just run off like that -- Nagisa was perfectly happy to pretend like that whole ordeal didn't happen, just like he was pretending that he never worked at the club -- and he wished Rei had just walked out with him like he was supposed to. It would have caused Nagisa a lot less grief, as the only thing he currently wanted to do was chatter about it and figure out why Rei had left to abruptly. Was he just really embarrassed? Did he suspect anything about Nagisa's sexuality?

Nagisa knew Haru liked silence, of which he hadn't heard a lot of since Nagisa came to live with him, so Nagisa tried to sit quietly next to him for a few moments. Soon, however, he got antsy, as the stars weren't moving around or doing anything interesting, and he had questions he wanted to ask Haru-chan.

"Were you just sitting here stargazing with Mako-chan the whole time after swim practice?"

Haru frowned at him, making his dissatisfaction with Nagisa's train of conversation evident.

"No."

"What else were you doing, then?" Nagisa asked, bouncing interestedly on his knees. The two had seemed to be sitting pretty close together when Nagisa walked in on them, and Makoto had seemed pretty embarrassed about it.

"Studying." Nagisa deflated.

"Oh… that's it?"

"Yes," Haru said, looking up at Nagisa suspiciously.

"Can I ask you something?" 

Haru sighed, closing his eyes. "If you ask me the same question about Makoto again-"

"No, it's not that," Nagisa said. "I wanted to ask your advice on something." Haru's blue eyes shone out at Nagisa as he sat up, indicating he was invested in helping the blond.

"So, just theoretically," Nagisa started, shifting so he was sitting cross-legged, a finger on his cheek as he pondered how to word his question.

"There's a boy. And he's gay, right?" Haru nodded. "And he's best friends with this other boy, but the other boy is super macho and straight and stuff." Haru's eyes widened as his face went slightly ashen.

"Nagisa, if this is-"

"No, hear me out!" Nagisa interrupted, knitting his eyebrows together. "So the two best friends are just hanging out, at, um, a festival! Yeah, and the straight boy buys cotton candy for the other one, but he insists on feeding it to the other boy because… the other boy doesn't have any hands and can't do it himself."

Nagisa earned a frown from Haru at his ridiculous analogy. Nagisa faltered a bit, knowing how stupid it sounded coming out of his mouth, but he continued anyways. He thought Haru's input at the end might be really astute.

"So the straight boy is feeding his friend, and everything's going fine, but then as the other boy goes to finish off the cotton candy, he accidentally… licks the straight boy's fingers. And then the straight boy runs away."

The frown remained on Haru's face. He looked at Nagisa with something between confusion and aversion readable through his eyebrows. Nagisa expected him to say something, but Haru just looked at him, speechless.

"What do you think the motivation was for the straight boy to run away?" Nagisa prompted, tilting his head to the side. Haru still didn't reply, though his lips twitched a couple of times like he was about to speak.

Finally, a silent minute later, Haru came out with, "Is the gay boy supposed to be me?"

"What?!" Nagisa voiced. "No, I said it's all theoretical!" A voice in the back of his head told him to laugh at how far from the truth Haru had ended up. That hadn't been the response Nagisa expected at all.

"Why doesn't the boy have any hands?"

Nagisa almost rolled his eyes. "That's not the point, Haru-chan!"

"But it doesn't make sense." Nagisa huffed. For someone supposedly older and wiser than him, sometimes Haru was really thick.

"Whatever," Nagisa pouted, "Anyways, you never answered me a couple weeks ago when I asked you if you liked Mako-chan."

"I knew it was about me!" Haru accused. He frowned more deeply at Nagisa.

"No, that was completely unrelated to my theoretical situation!" Nagisa groaned. "Just-- I'm asking for your advice about a boy!" Haru went back into thought for a few more minutes. At some point, Nagisa sighed and started to get up.

"I'm going to get ready for bed," he said, standing and walking to retrieve his pajamas. As he headed to the door, Haru decided to speak.

"He was probably just uncomfortable," Haru said, standing and shutting the sliding doors to his balcony. "I doubt he read into anything too much. If you just apologize to him, I'm sure Rei will move past it easily."

Nagisa dropped his head, blushing deeply when Haru said Rei's name. He guessed Haru wasn't as thick as he thought.

"Thanks, Haru-chan," Nagisa said quietly, smiling softly as he headed to his shower.

\---

Rei had stopped walking to school with the three boys once he was certain Nagisa was doing all right. It was out of his way, and meant he had to get up a lot earlier than usual. It could be counted on, however, that Rei would be standing outside of the school, leaning on the wall and waiting for Haru, Makoto, and Nagisa every morning. Often buried in a book, he would look up periodically and always beam when he caught sight of his teammates, stowing his novel quickly and jogging over to them.

The consistency made Nagisa sure of how his morning was going to go. He, Haru, and Makoto would see Rei, standing there elegantly, his slender hands wrapped around whatever book he was reading today. Nagisa would walk over to him and stop, and he was sure Haru-chan would get the hint from the conversation he had with Nagisa yesterday and continue into the school with Makoto in tow.

"Hi, Rei-chan!" Nagisa would say, perkily. He would be a little nervous, but Haru was right about his advice, and as soon as he apologized to Rei-chan, everything would be resolved and back to normal.

"Nagisa-kun," Rei would reply, putting his book down. He would be able to tell Nagisa would feel kind of wary, and he would look at the shorter boy curiously.

"I wanted to apologize for what happened yesterday!" Nagisa would continue. "It was an accident, and I'm sorry if it made you uncomfortable. I promise not to do it again!"

"It's all right, Nagisa-kun!" Rei would say, accepting his apology. "I didn't think anything of it. Now, we should get to class before sensei takes roll for the day."

They would walk, shoulder to shoulder to class, and Nagisa would start chattering about how he was excited fall was coming so he could jump in leaf piles or how Haru-chan was going to let him try to bake a cupcake recipe he found online.

Except Rei wasn't leaning on the wall today. For the first time since Nagisa started living with Haru, Rei wasn't there to greet him in the morning.

"Oh, where's Rei?" Makoto asked, his features already shifting to worry. "It's not like him to miss meeting us before school. Do you know if he's sick, Nagisa?"

Nagisa swallowed. The air caught in his throat, leaving his voice somewhat scratchy.

"Um, I don't- I don't know. He didn't text me or anything this morning."

"Maybe he just went to class early to study," Haru said, bumping Makoto discreetly with his shoulder. Makoto looked at Haru puzzledly before looking over at Nagisa, who had paled considerably. He tried to smile the worry off his face for Nagisa's benefit.

"Don't worry! I'm sure Haru's right, you shouldn't assume anything until you check for him in class." Nagisa nodded, looking utterly unconvinced.

"We should be getting to class soon, anyway, so let's go check if Rei is there, all right? Nagisa?"

Nagisa was no longer listening to Makoto. He had started ahead into the school, walking with a very driven purpose, leaving Haru and Makoto needing to jog as they trailed behind him.

"What's up with him?" Makoto whispered concernedly at Haru as they followed the path that Nagisa was weaving between students on the stairs.

"He talked to me about it after you left last night. I don't know why he didn't just go to you. You're better with these things."

"What things?" Haru shrugged in response, and Makoto let out an exasperated breath. He wanted to help, he really did, but why did all of his friends have to be so cryptic? It made it harder to do nice things for people.

Makoto nearly bumped into Nagisa as the smaller boy came to an abrupt stop in the doorway to his classroom. Standing over Nagisa's shoulder, Makoto could see he was focused on an anti-social Ryuugazaki Rei, seeming intently focused on whatever he was writing down in a notebook.

Looking down at Nagisa, Makoto was taken aback to see a pained gleam in his friend's eyes. The worry lines on Makoto's forehead grew deeper. He looked back at Rei.

Makoto was ever so glad Rei had joined the swim team. Makoto found conversations with Rei to be fun, as he always left with some new, random piece of knowledge, and Makoto could see from the first day he met Rei that underneath his genius there was a kind, sensitive heart. Rei joining the swim team had made Haru much happier too, even if Haru didn't externally show it. Without Rei, Haru wouldn't be able to swim, and Makoto loved seeing the peaceful, content look on Haru's face as he floated in the water.

And then there was Nagisa. Makoto knew how much Nagisa adored Rei. Nagisa had been a gorgeous mess of laughter and smiles and chatter since Makoto had met him years ago. He was always very open and physical with his friends, but that all came to a peak with Rei. He was always hanging off Rei or making plans with Rei or talking about the plans he had made with Rei. Makoto was happy Nagisa had found such a good friend -- Makoto knew the importance of having someone phenomenal to share everything with.

Makoto was having a hard time drawing on those positive feelings about Rei as he took in Nagisa's expression. What on earth could Rei have done to him to make Nagisa look that way? 

He was pulled out of his thoughts as a warm hand made its way into his, causing Makoto to jump slightly.

"Let's go," Haru said, already turning away from the classroom. "It's not our business."

Haru started to walk away, and Makoto had no choice but to follow or risk pulling his hand out of Haru's.

Nagisa watched Rei writing down who knew what in his notebook. He continued for as long as Nagisa watched him, and Nagisa couldn't help but be sure it was because Rei was trying to avoid him. Unhelpfully, his brain continued to supply the image of Rei, sitting there and staring at Nagisa with his stupid eyes and stupid glasses and his fingers indecently wet, and then shoving all this things hurriedly in his backpack in order to get as far away from Nagisa as possible--

But Rei couldn't run away this time, and Nagisa had to get this off his chest before class started and the teacher would get mad at him for talking.

Nagisa strode over to Rei's desk and slammed his head down right on top of Rei's notebook.

"I'm sorry, Rei-chan!" he cried, the volume of his apology causing some of the students to turn and look at them.

"Nagisa-kun," Rei hissed in a whisper, "Stop bowing and keep your voice down. People are staring at you."

Nagisa lifted his head, his eyes shimmering. Rei was blushing, his eyes darting around at his peers who were looking at him. Nagisa couldn't stand to look at Rei as he talked, and instead fixed his eyes on Rei's desk, speaking very quietly.

"Rei-chan, please don't avoid me! I'm sorry about yesterday, I really am, and I really didn't mean to! Please don't read into it, it was just an accident, I promise, and I'm so, so sorry!" Nagisa groaned internally, knowing whatever order he'd tried to put into planning this conversation had gone out the window as he continued rambling. "Whatever thoughts you have about me after that are wrong, Rei-chan, and please don't avoid me because of what happened yesterday, because I didn't mean to, and if you stop hanging out with me now because you think I'm gay or something I don't know what I'll do, because you're my best friend, and if you think I'm weird or gross now and avoid me I-"

Nagisa's sad rant was interrupted as the class' homeroom teacher walked into the room, all the students standing to greet him. He dismissed them and the students sat down, causing Nagisa to have to leave Rei's side to sit down as well.

Glancing to the seat behind him, Rei saw the smaller boy set his books down and drop his head, his hair falling down around him and preventing Rei from seeing his eyes. From what he could see of Nagisa's face, the boy was completely ashen.

Though initially embarrassed by Nagisa's public display of apology, he now felt awful for not being able to properly address the situation. Nagisa had been distraught, but rightly so. Rei had basically sprinted away from the cafe after packing up his things. 

But it was completely justified, Rei told himself. The sight of Nagisa leaning over the table, Rei's fingers in his mouth, had been too much for his logic-oriented brain to handle. All the thoughts about Nagisa he'd categorized as inappropriate had been carefully repressed for months, and suddenly it was as if whatever brain cells holding those thoughts in place had burst, and they'd all come flooding out, overwhelming all his other lobes and thought processes.

Nagisa was gorgeous. The way Nagisa's deltoids moved as he pushed his arms through the water made his arms look lean and strong and he could probably pin Rei down with them if he tried. Nagisa's lips looked warm and soft whenever he pouted. Nagisa looked hot when he was dancing on the stripper pole. Nagisa sometimes ran his hand through his hair, pushing it back, and it was sexy. Nagisa's eyes looked dangerous when he was sleepy or mischievous and he would look up at Rei through heavy lids.

Nagisa's mouth felt hot around Rei's fingers, and Rei could feel Nagisa's tongue, and Nagisa was sucking lightly, and Rei didn't even know if Nagisa knew he was doing it--

He forced those thoughts away, again. He had tried to force them away at home, out of principle and respect for his friend, and he was most certainly going to force them away at school, when he was supposed to be learning and had no escape if his body decided not to listen to his logic.

Being their math teacher along with their homeroom teacher, the sensei instructed everyone to bring out their math homework, but as Rei took his work out of his carefully organized folder, he took out a scrap sheet of paper as well. Though he usually stayed focused during the teacher's explanation of the homework, even though he knew he always completed all the problems correctly, today something more pressing was at his attention. Besides, he'd finished the derivatives in mere minutes. They were easy.

He got out a pencil and tried to decide just what he would write down. It took him most of the time the teacher explained the homework to decide what to write, but once he had his words in order he scribbled them down quickly and folded his paper nearly in four. He took it and held it behind his back, hoping Nagisa would get the hint and grab his note sooner than later. He didn't want to be caught passing notes, especially a note with such sensitive content as this one.

Fortunately, he felt a small tug soon after, and glanced behind him quickly to see a very stoic Nagisa unfolding his note and refusing to make eye contact. He didn't like seeing Nagisa this way. Turning around and not seeing Nagisa beam at him upon realizing Rei was looking, or seeing Nagisa passed out on his desk with his mouth slightly open, looking much more content in his dream world, or seeing Nagisa miming slitting his throat during a particularly boring lesson made Rei's stomach churn in guilt.

Nagisa thought not interacting with Rei anymore today would be his last attempt at self-preservation, and refused to acknowledge the boy in front of him, but his curiosity got the best of him as Rei passed back a note, simply because Rei was the best student Nagisa knew and would never do anything as distracting as passing notes.

This could either be very good or very bad. Nagisa grimaced as he opened the note.

Nagisa-kun,  
I could never avoid you. Besides our obvious physical constraints like class and swimming, I enjoy spending time with you outside of school. It makes me sad to think you don't realize that by now, for as we do almost everything together, I thought it was evident how much I value you and your time. I will make a point to remind you of this fact more often.  
Additionally, I understand that your actions were accidental and I didn't think you were "gay or something." However, if you are gay, I hope you know I would not care at all. You used the word in a derogatory fashion, which I believe is unseemly.The concept of sexuality is dramatized by our societal standards, when in reality humans are not designed to put labels on such a primal emotion as love.  
Likewise, I hope you know that if you're ever struggling with something, Nagisa-kun, you know you can come to me.  
Rei

Nagisa stood abruptly, bowing his head as he shouted out, "Sensei!"

"Hazuki-kun?"

"I need to use the restroom, please!"

Momentarily taken aback by the fact no actual question was uttered, it took Nagisa's teacher a second to nod, by which time Nagisa was halfway to the door. He bolted out of the classroom, walking to the third-years' classrooms as quickly as he could without arousing suspicion, the note from Rei still clutched in his hand.

He slid to a stop in front of the open door of Haru and Makoto's classroom, with Miho Amakata leading her students through today's agenda. She gave a small gasp when she spotted Nagisa out of the corner of her eye, stopping her miniature lecture.

"Hazuki-kun?"

"Sorry, Ama-chan-sensei, but can I borrow Haru-chan for a minute?" 

Miho shot him a concerned frown, but nodded, "Yes."

Haru got up from his seat in the far corner and walked to the door. Nagisa tried to ignore all of the third years staring at him, particularly Mako-chan, who was the most concerned at all. Nagisa led Haru down the hallway until they were out of earshot of the classroom. Nagisa looked down at the paper which was now slightly crumpled in his hands, trying to decide what to say, when Haru spoke.

"Is this about Rei?" Nagisa nodded and handed Haru the note, who took one look at it and then looked back up at Nagisa.

"This looks private. I don't think I should read it," Haru said, handing the note back to Nagisa. He took it, cradling it in his hands.

"Did he not accept your apology?" Haru asked.

"He did. Well, I think he did, at least. He didn't explicitly say, but from what he wrote, it seems like he doesn't mind," Nagisa said quietly, staring down at the paper. "I think it's going to be fine and we'll both forget about it, is what I mean. But, there's a part of this note I don't get, and maybe it's just because Rei-chan's a lot smarter than me and sometimes he says stuff that goes over my head…"

Though he didn't say anything, the tilt of Haru's head indicated he was ready to help Nagisa understand the best he could. Nagisa folded the note so only a specific sentence was visible, and showed it to Haru.

The concept of sexuality is dramatized by our societal standards, when in reality humans are not designed to put labels on such a primal emotion as love.

"What did you say to him?" Haru asked. "Did you tell him you were gay? I thought you were trying to avoid that."

"Everything just kind of came out once I started apologizing," Nagisa huffed. "I think I said something like, 'please don't avoid me if you think I'm gay now,' or whatever."

Haru frowned and opened his mouth to respond, but Nagisa interrupted, already knowing what Haru was going to say.

"I know, I'm an idiot! And I know Rei-chan won't judge me on it, he specifically said so earlier in the letter. But what does that sentence mean?? He doesn't like when people identify as gay? Maybe he won't judge me on it, but he's secretly really unhappy with the idea of hanging out with a gay person."

Nagisa was beginning to look distraught again. Haru reflected on the words for a moment before replying.

"I think Rei meant more that people make sexuality into a big deal, when he really thinks it's not a big deal and people should love who they want." Haru tilted his nose up slightly. "You could always ask him."

"I can't," Nagisa confessed. "He'll think I'm dumb." Haru shrugged, turning to go back to his classroom.

"Haru-chan, wait!" Nagisa called out to Haru's back. Haru turned over his shoulder to look at him.

"You really think he doesn't care? About…"

"Like he said in his letter, don't make a big deal about it." Haru walked back to his seat, not surprised the class hadn't moved on much since he'd been gone. After studying his expression for a moment and apparently not being able to gleam any insight on what had happened, Makoto leaned over.

"What was that?" Makoto asked in a hushed whisper.

Haru shrugged. "Personal stuff."

"What personal stuff?"

Another shrug. Makoto sighed, leaning back over his own desk.

"You guys never tell me anything anymore."

\---

Rei was worried about Nagisa. He kept glancing at the door. How long had it been since Nagisa had left to go the bathroom. Too long for a normal bathroom break. He had taken Rei's note. Was he crying? He must be crying in the bathroom.

He hadn't written anything cruel in his note, had he? At least nothing that he thought could be interpreted as cruel. But Nagisa was more sensitive than he was, and he hadn't taken that into account when he wrote it.

Rei thought about asking to go to the bathroom as well, but he knew his teacher would refuse to allow more than one student in the halls at a time. How else could he get out of this room? Rei was brainstorming possible chaotic disruptions that would allow him to sneak out unnoticed as Nagisa came back in the room. Rei tried to make eye contact with him, but Nagisa walked with purpose back to his chair and immediately started scribbling something down on paper.

Rei stared ahead, trying to take in the new lesson, but his mind was completely distracted by the thought of Nagisa behind him. He copied down the formulas anyway, knowing he could learn the material at home later tonight. He was soon hit in the head with a crumpled ball of paper. Rei reached down to the floor where it had ricocheted off of his skull and opened it up.

It was his note, a far cry from the pristine condition it had been in when he'd initially passed it back to Nagisa. But that was the thing about Nagisa, he could take something sharp and methodical and make it feel warm and familiar and lived in. That's exactly what he'd done to Rei throughout their friendship.

Below his original writing was another message.

Rei-chan,  
I really like spending time with you too. I'm really glad you're my best friend.  
Thanks for forgiving me. Maybe tonight we can do math homework again, and you can help me but I won't do anything stupid this time. I will probably need the help though, because I haven't been paying attention to this whole lesson today ꈍ .̮ ꈍ  
I also really liked what you said about the labels and stuff.  
Your friend,  
Hazuki Nagisa

Nagisa saw Rei turn around after reading his note, but the smaller boy was blushing so badly he pretended not to see in order to hide his face.

They didn't talk for the rest of the morning, and when it was time to stop for lunch, Nagisa moved to grab his bento and head for the roof alone. Not two seconds after the teacher had dismissed them, however, a hand shot out and grabbed his arm before he could make any effort to get out of the room.

"Nagisa-kun."

Nagisa swallowed and looked up at Rei. Nagisa pursed his lips, unsure of what was to come next from Rei would be good or bad.

"I like spending time with you," Rei said, giving Nagisa a small smile. "So, let's eat together?" 

Nagisa broke out into his signature grand smile, the first seen on his face all day.

"Sounds good, Rei-chan," he beamed.

\--

Rei kept the promise he'd made in his letter. The words, "I like spending time with you" because familiar ones to Nagisa's ears, and he thought he'd never get tired of hearing them. Rei would say them randomly, after Nagisa asked for his time after completing a lap at the pool, or while they were doing homework on Rei's floor and Nagisa obviously needed a mental break. He'd sometimes say them unprompted during conversations, too, throwing off Nagisa's flow.

"I really need to get Gou a great present for her birthday, because she got me the socks with the penguins on them last year!"

"Well, do you have any ideas?"

"I'm thinking of getting her either a cell phone charm of a character from her favorite manga, or a box of those rock candies that look like gemstones. What do you think, Rei-chan?"

"I think I like spending time with you, Nagisa-kun."

Nagisa had broken into giggles, forgetting about the track of the conversation entirely. He ended up getting Gou the candies, remembering about the charm too late to order it online.

Eventually, however, the phrase seemed too long for regular conversation, and morphed into, "I like you." Nagisa enjoyed this even more. He imagined this must be what it feels like to be in an actual relationship with Ryuugazaki Rei, with the wonderfully smart boy deciding Nagisa, out of all people, was the one he liked the most. Though he would never admit it out loud, sometimes Nagisa fantasized about it.

Nagisa found himself spending less time at Haru's house as the semester continued on. The more time he was with Rei, the more time he spent hearing Rei tell him that he liked him, which always made Nagisa's stomach flip happily.

The first time he stayed the night at Rei's house, they were working on homework. They were balancing scientific chemical equations, which Rei was good at, because he was good at math. Nagisa, on the other hand-

"Ugh!!" Nagisa yelled, slamming his head down onto Rei's glass table. 

"Nagisa-kun," Rei said, startled by the loud noise the collision had just made. "Are you all right?"

"This is awful," Nagisa moaned, his head still buried in his work.

"Are you tired or just bored?" Rei asked.

"Both," Nagisa replied, pulling his head up off the table as if it weighed two tons. Rei had to admit, he didn't look the best. The usually perky pink eyes were half closed as Nagisa blinked at him.

"I like you, Nagisa," Rei said, earning only a sleepy smile. He knew Nagisa must be exhausted, as that phrase always seemed to excite the blond.

"I think you're too tired to be productive, Nagisa-kun," Rei said, smiling gently. "Let's get you back to Haruka-senpai's. It's late for you."

Rei moved around the table and put a hand on Nagisa's back to encourage him to stand up, but instead Nagisa fell backwards onto the floor. A red circle was starting to form on his forehead from where he slammed his head into the table.

"I can't," he said simply, closing his eyes. Rei's eyebrows shot up.

"What do you mean, you can't?" Nagisa twisted to lay on his side, curling his knees up into his chest.

"Too tired." Nagisa let out a huge yawn, settling himself to apparently sleep on the floor. Rei stuttered, a blush beginning to form on his face.

"N-Nagisa-kun, you can't just sleep in the middle of my floor!! We still have school tomorrow!"

"Rei-chaaaaan," Nagisa whined, his eyes still closed. "Rei-chan, it's fine." Nagisa didn't say anything after that as Rei just stared at him, stunned. Nagisa's mouth dropped open a minute or so later, his breathing rhythmic and quiet.

Nagisa was sleeping on the floor of his bedroom. Rei couldn't just leave him there, but there was no way he'd be able to lug the sleeping boy on the train all the way to Haruka's house, not to mention the kind of looks he'd get from whoever happened to be out at this time of night and saw him carting around an unconscious body. Nagisa was staying over.

Rei figured before he decided what exactly to do with Nagisa, he should call Haru to inform him Nagisa wouldn't be making it home tonight. Rei pulled out his phone and dialed Haru's number. The number rang until it timed out. Rei ended the call and frowned. Haruka-senpai was so irresponsible with his cell phone that he might end up having to contact Makoto-senpai to convey his message. Rei decided to try one more time, and Haru picked up after a few rings.

"Hello?"

"Haruka-senpai. I called to let you know that Nagisa-kun was studying at my house, and he's fallen asleep. I don't think I can get him back to your house, so he'll be staying the night here."

"…Good."

"Good?"

"He's loud. And he talks in his sleep at the same volume."

"Oh." Rei looked at Nagisa, sleeping quietly on his floor. He thought this was probably the most peaceful he'd ever seen Nagisa. "I'll keep that in mind."

"Is that all?"

"Yes, I think so."

"I'll see you both tomorrow," Haru said, hanging up immediately after.

Rei put his phone down, crossing his arms. What next? Rei figured he'd better move Nagisa onto his bed, or he'd be incredibly sore in the morning. He knelt down next to Nagisa, shifting him around a bit as he put one arm around the boy's shoulders and another under his knees. The movement caused Nagisa to stir slightly, opening one eye an inch.

"Rei-chan?"

"Oh Nagisa-kun," Rei said hurriedly. "You can stay the night here, but do you want to change into some of my old clothes so you don't wrinkle your uniform?"

Nagisa nodded, rubbing his eyes sleepily. Rei quickly released him from his bridal-style grip and rushed over to his cabinet to retrieve some spare clothes before Nagisa sell back asleep, pulling out one of his t-shirts and pair of shorts with an elastic waistband.

"Is this all right?" Rei asked, holding out the items to Nagisa, who was sitting on the floor and watching him with tired eyes. Nagisa nodded sleepily again, taking off his uniform shirt unabashedly in the middle of the room.

"N-N-Nagisa-kun!" Rei protested, turning furiously red as Nagisa took the t-shirt from him.

"You see me shirtless everyday, Rei-chan," Nagisa giggled, pulling the shirt over his head. It sat big on his small frame, one pale shoulder threatening to poke out of the shirt's neck. "You can look away while I change my pants, though, if you want."

Rei set the shorts down on the table and turned around pointedly, radiating embarrassment. Nagisa didn't seem to mind as he put on Rei's shorts.

"Done," he announced, plopping back down on the floor. He made some effort at folding his uniform before looking up at Rei, his eyes threatening to close again. Rei sighed.

"Get into bed."

"Are you going to carry me? You were going to before," Nagisa smiled. Rei huffed. Nagisa was certainly flirtatious when he was tired.

"You can walk three feet," Rei responded, pulling the sheets down for Nagisa. He moaned in protest but walked the foot and a half needed to get into Rei's bed, nestling himself beneath the covers. As Rei got up to leave, Nagisa grabbed his wrist.

"Where are you going?" he asked, his voice sounding thick.

"I'm going to go sleep on the couch," Rei replied. This made Nagisa frown, even in his tired state.

"Rei-chan," he protested. "I'm not going to come into your house and steal your bed from you. Sleep here too."

"That's not…"

"Not what? I thought you liked me."

"I do like you."

"So why won't you sleep with me?" Rei thought he couldn't blush any harder.

"It's… The formal rules of hosting a guest… May I remind you that you're the one who didn't want to sleep in a tent with me? When we had two separate sleeping bags?"

Nagisa tugged on Rei's wrist gently.

"It was different then. Please, Rei-chan. I like you. Don't sleep on the couch."

Rei cursed himself for not having more resolve. Nagisa had more control over him than he realized. This was not good.

"Fine. I'm going to get washed up, then I'll be back."

Within minutes, Rei was sleeping face to face with a lightly snoring Nagisa. He would never have guessed his day would have ended with a beautiful boy inches away from him in his bed. …Oh, shit.

\---

Haru was right about how loud Nagisa talked in his sleep. Although Haru slept in his room upstairs and Nagisa was being housed on the lower floor of the house, at 3:15 a.m., Rei saw how Nagisa could keep Haru awake, even at that distance.

Rei was now regretting not waking his parents to tell them Nagisa was staying the night. They had both crashed in their room early after a long day of grading papers, and Rei figured he could explain what had happened in the morning and they wouldn't mind too much. However, he was now afraid his parents would be awakened by the sound of a foreign boy sleeping with their son in his bed.

Rei created a list of possible solutions in his head. His first idea was to pinch Nagisa's mouth shut.

Nagisa was babbling about some horror film Haru had borrowed for them to watch.

"You should have seen it," Nagisa mumbled, his active mouth the only thing moving on his small body. "My favorite part was… came out of the boy's mouth and blood flew… you would have liked it."

Rei frowned. Nagisa's words floated in and out, but who did he think he was talking to? He sighed, removing his hand from under the covers. He grabbed Nagisa's lips with his thumb and pointer finger, trying to hold them together to shut the smaller boy's mouth. It worked for a second before Nagisa apparently imitated a roar from the film which pulled his lips out of Rei's grasp.

Rei's next strategy was just to cover Nagisa's entire mouth area with the palm of his hand. It succeeded in muffling the sound, but Nagisa kept talking, and Rei felt the uncomfortable twinge in his stomach that he felt last time his hands were this close to Nagisa's mouth. He pulled his hand away, his palm slightly damp.

Rei had one more solution, but it defied all logical rules of consciousness and consent. He stared at Nagisa's mouth, which was now murmuring more quietly about fish. What was he on about now? Rei tore his eyes away. He wasn't able to stare at those lips too long without being tempted.

Rei opted to try to wake Nagisa up as a last resort. Rei hadn't been awakened by Nagisa's talking for the first couple of hours, so he figured maybe if he could wake Nagisa up, he'd fall back to sleep silently as he did at the beginning of the night. Rei put his hand on Nagisa's arm, shaking him lightly.

"Nagisa-kun. Nagisa-kun, wake up." Nagisa didn't stir. Rei rolled his eyes. Nagisa was more trouble than he looked.

Rei tried shaking Nagisa again. The only thing the movement did was cause Nagisa to shift around, ending up throwing the arm Rei was holding over Rei's stomach and nearly touching his forehead to Rei's. 

Shit. Shitshitshit, Rei thought. This was not the plan at all. Rei stared, wide-eyed, at Nagisa's face, inches away from his. Rei could feel Nagisa's breath ghosting Rei's chin as he described a purple fish he'd seen swimming in the ocean.

"Don't you remember?" Nagisa chatted away happily to himself in his dream. "I said it looked like Rei-chan's eyes, and you got mad for some reason, and we walked all up and down the pier looking for a pink fish."

Rei started softly as he recalled what Nagisa was talking about. Last week, Nagisa had said he missed the ocean, so on Saturday Rei had accompanied him on a walk up and down the beach, eventually getting distracted by the colorful fish in the water and stopping to look. Nagisa was dreaming about him. 

As Nagisa continued his tale about the fish, Rei's self-control snapped as he moved his jaw forward ever so slightly, pressing his lips to Nagisa's. Rei shut his eyes tightly, his hand resting gently on Nagisa's jaw. The talking ceased immediately, relief flooding Rei's stomach.

As he pulled back and opened his eyes, however, that feeling was replaced with a sharp pang of dread as Rei opened his eyes to two large pink orbs.

"Rei-chan?" Nagisa asked in an incredibly quiet voice.

Rei, at a loss for words, sputtered, "I like you." He heard Nagisa's breath hitch.

"Is this a joke? Because I don't think it's very funny."

"What?" Rei asked, appalled. "What's a joke?"

"Playing with my emotions like this," Nagisa responded. Rei could see the tears forming in Nagisa's eyes already. "Because, obviously, you know how I feel, and I've been avoiding it forever because you're really straight, and if you just did that to mess with me because you know I'm gay, it's actually really mean." A couple of tears squeezed themselves out of Nagisa's eyes onto Rei's pillow. Rei sat up, sighing.

"Nagisa-kun, I think we need to have a serious discussion. I know you've been putting it off. I have too, because it makes me nervous. But nothing you're saying is making sense right now."

Rei sat up and turned on his bedside lamp. Nagisa pulled himself up to sit as well, holding Rei's blankets under his chin so only his head was visible. He looked so small and sad. It made Rei's heart hurt.

"Firstly, I need to ask you, flat-out, what your sexuality is. You've been skirting around it for weeks, but you've never officially come out and stated it. You keep insinuating that I know you're gay, but you've never told me, so, no, I don't know if you're gay or not, Nagisa-kun."

Nagisa stared down at Rei's bedsheets, and Rei thought for a moment, his eyes soft.

"Nagisa-kun, look at me." Nagisa's eyes flitted up to meet Rei's.

"There's nothing wrong with being gay. Some of the greatest men in history were homosexual. Ultimately, who you love should only matter to you. If someone tells you that whatever you feel isn't valid, even if that someone is an important person to you, like a parent," Nagisa's gaze faltered, "whatever happens is not your fault. They are the ones at fault. There's nothing wrong with you."

By this point, the tears were flowing freely from Nagisa's eyes. Rei reached out instinctively to put a hand on Nagisa's shoulder but stopped.

"Is that why you're so hesitant to tell me?" Rei asked. Nagisa suddenly lunged at Rei, fisting his hands in Rei's t-shirt as he started to sob quietly. Rei held his body as it shook, rubbing his hands up and down Nagisa's back slowly.

"M-My parents… they're pretty traditional," Nagisa began to explain, his words interrupted sniffling and gasps for air as he tried to calm himself down. "One of my mom's colleagues, she's- she's a lesbian, and t-they were just… just bashing her at d-dinner one night, and talking about how b-bad they felt for her adopted child and I just- I couldn't sit there and listen to that, you know? So I defended her, and-" Nagisa's voice broke, and it took him a minute to collect it again.

"I probably should've just lied again when they asked me. I was just tired of it, R-Rei-chan. I was tired of l-lying to their faces all the time. I thought… maybe, if I told them, they'd stop, or something, or just- just- just not talk about it anymore! About how m-m-messed up gay people are!"

Nagisa sniffled several times before continuing.

"My dad got really angry. I'm his only son, so he… he was really mad. He g-grabbed my wrist and tossed me around. I had a pretty big bruise there for a while. My mom was less physical, but she just looked and looked at me and wouldn't look away, and she k-kept saying that she knew it and she'd known the whole time and- anyway, I left that night. I haven't seen them since. I don't think they really care, since they haven't called the school asking for me.

"I broke into the locker room at the pool to stay there the first couple of nights. I didn't want to go to any of you, because I caused everyone enough trouble before, and this… this was worse. I didn't want to burden anyone. I got a job at the grocer's, but I saw too many people from school so I had to quit. And then I went to Fukuramu. It wasn't so bad, actually. Hashi-chan let me sleep there and I like to dance and everyone-" Nagisa stopped to clear his throat, but the tears that had restarted were evident in his voice. "Everyone was like me. It was s-so nice, to be with people like me."

"But Nagisa-kun, you rode the train to school with me everyday. How-"

"I got up early to ride out to our neighborhood so it looked like I was coming from my house. I didn't want you to worry."

Rei squeezed the precious thing in his arms tightly, tearing up himself. Nagisa was too kind and loving for his whole world to have come down on him in a second. He didn't deserve this.

"I was so afraid you and Haru-chan and Mako-chan wouldn't want to be around me anymore once you found out. But I think I'm going to be okay now, Rei-chan," Nagisa said, removing himself from Rei's shirt. He wiped his eyes, staring straight into Rei's.

"I can tell you that I'm gay." Nagisa sighed, closing his eyes as a small smile broke through his tear-stained complexion. "It feels good to say it out loud."

"I'm glad, Nagisa-kun. Thank you for trusting me. But you know," Nagisa's eyes snapped open, taken aback by the catch, "you're really in no place to assume things about other peoples' sexualities."

"Huh?" Nagisa asked, his eyebrows coming together.

"What was it you said earlier? Something about "avoiding me because I'm really straight?" When have you ever seen me look at a girl, Nagisa-kun?" Rei smiled at him, trying to lighten the mood.

Though stunned for a moment, a large grin eventually broke through on Nagisa's face.

"Now that I think about it… Well, what are you trying to say, Rei-chan?"

"I'm a homosexual as well. And, I like you, Nagisa-kun."

Nagisa was pretty sure the smile on his face came off as dopey, but he was too over the moon and tired to care. Rei was gay? That made he, Rei-chan, and Haru-chan gay. Nagisa wondered if Mako-chan was gay as well, but his train of thought was interrupted by a huge yawn. Apparently venting out feelings he'd kept repressed for weeks made one really tired.

"Why don't we go back to sleep, Nagisa-kun," Rei suggested. "I hope you can sleep a little better."

"Oh, was I talking?" 

Rei nodded in response. 

"I'm sorry, I do that sometimes."

"I didn't really mind, but you do get quite loud." 

"I'm always loud." 

"Mmm." 

Nagisa laid back down under the covers, Rei turning off his light and laying next to him. 

He laid in silence for a few moments before asking tentatively, "Rei-chan?"

"Yes, Nagisa-kun?"

"Can I hug you?"

"…Of course."

Nagisa sidled up to Rei and put his arms around his chest, leaning his head against Rei's neck. Rei responded in turn, tilting his head down to rest on Nagisa's hair.

"Thanks for telling me, too."

"Naturally. You're very important to me, Nagisa."

"I really like you."

"I really like you too."

Nagisa laid in silence for a while. At some point, Rei's arms around him loosened their grip, and he assumed the larger boy had fallen asleep. It felt really great to get everything about his sexuality out in the air with Rei. Well, almost everything. 'You know how I feel,' Nagisa had said before, when he was ranting. Nagisa hoped Rei chalked that up to Nagisa's feelings about being gay and not about him. He didn't know how he got out of that serious talk without discussing how he felt about Rei, but as he laid there, falling asleep in the arms of a boy he was falling for, he decided that could wait until later.

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed this, please go check out my tumblr, which is nagisalt.tumblr.com! I'm trying to dig my way into the Free! fandom on there, having started way too late.  
> My kik is also nagisalt if you're into rp or whatever, and my line is erinsalt. I'm still trying to figure out how to use that one.


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